Today...

This is my new blog, I say new because already this week I began my first blog web... but completely messed it up, so I've had to create a new one, and am really hoping I won't mess this one up too!

My current circumstance is as follows: I'm employed, but about to be deployed... nope not due to the credit crunch, but a voluntary resignation. What?! Millions of people are facing the chop through no fault of their own, and yet I'm here about to walk away from my employment... what, am I insane? Well, possibly? And that's the reason why I have to walk away from my current post, because if I don't, I won't be able to remain within the public sector company I'm with... ever again. So that means I have no choice, if I ever want employment again.

You see, I've had some problems, a bit of an understatement, but these problems result in me being unable to guarantee my attendance at work, and so therefore I am not a reliable employee. I can do the job, I can do it well, it's been recognised, and told to me that I can do this... but I just cannot turn up when I'm supposed too, and so here's lye's the problem.
So am I am disabled? No, not in the physical sense, so am I disabled in the mental sense... well, then the vote is still out on that one.

I cannot say medically that I am, because I'm still waiting to be diagnosed by the medical profession (a wait of a mere 18 months, so no worries there then!). But I can tell you everyone within the medical profession so far I have come into contact with, and that's a fair few... have definitely expressed their opinion that I do need help. So it's clear I have a condition, but just exactly what that condition is... appears to be any ones guess until the great people in white coats officially give diagnosis, and confirmation. In the meantime I'm left to my own devices without any help, apart from some medication to deal with panic attacks and depression which, despite it's good intentions, I'm really not sure is what I need, or indeed should be taking, but as I'm in no position to argue, I'm taking the stuff. And so this my current situation and hence my decision to write a blog because I have a feeling my journey to the peace is going to take some time!