Today... 11th March 09

06.35 a.m.
I was awake at five this morning, I guess I'm nervous about the home-visit from the financial advisor later today. I also need to try and tidy up my very messy house. That is so dam incredibly English again! 'Oh, I'm having a visitor... I must tidy my house'. Does it really matter in grand scale of things? I could be about to lose my house, it's a bit late in the day to now be worried about whether it's in a presentable state or not! But alas we do these things. And it's probably not just an English habit either, people all round the world are probably the same, so apologies to all non-English persons.

I'm running out of cigarettes, so I'll have to get some, no doubt I will be feeling the need for them later! I have no idea how my time will go with the advisor, he mentioned about getting some paper-work together for him, but I don't exactly have a very good filing system. I receive a bill, look at it, and then toss it aside, or sometimes I don't even open the letter! It's a complete sign of denial, I know. I'm like an Ostrich with her head stuck in the sand, but it's dark and familiar with my head stuck down that hole, so I find it difficult when I'm required to come up for air! The daily tarot today is justice... I really hope it's a favourable outcome for me. But justice may mean that I don't deserve to keep the house? Oh no... there was my Gemini good vs evil moment... and now here comes my rational vs irrational side... I can't possible see how I'm going to be able to magic the money for the rent every month, when I've got so many other bills that need paying off... and now finally here's my conclusion moment... I have no choice but to leave my fate in the hands of... er, fate?

On a more positive note, and it is, because it cheered me up no end. Somebody was kind enough to leave not one, but two comments, on my blog yesterday... so many thanks to that person, their words were much appreciated.

I better wake my daughter up now, it's seven o'clock. She's got a red-nose thing on today at school, she's going to be participating in selling foods of a red colour to pupils at lunch-time... she's selling cherries on cocktail sticks. I hope the cocktail sticks won't be classed as possible lethal weapons!!!

Well... it's all gone a lot better than I ever could of have wished. The advisor was a smashing bloke, and we've sorted out an arrangement with the rent until the end of April. I've promised to pay a certain amount, which I can reasonable manage, I'm not going to lie and say it will be easy, but I'm determined to try and meet the payments. Then come April I should be in back pay of receipt of housing benefit, so the rent will be paid, and a small charge for arrears will be taken off my benefit. He's also been on the phone while he was here, and sorted out new arrangements with some of the companies I'm in debt too. Apparently there are all kinds of ways to deal with certain government bodies that I had no knowledge of, and I doubt most other people would know, but he knew, so that's what counts. And he's given me some advice on how to handle the bank I'm currently with, so I will follow his advice.

All in all I'm now feeling a little bit more optimistic regarding the safety of the house, the landlord has agreed not to take me court, for now... phew! But it took some persuading by the advisor, I feel I owe him a big thank you... well I did thank him. Because the landlord were pretty determined, and the ball was already in motion so to speak. So they've now agreed to change their plans, and I really hope I can afford to pay them the agreed amount of rent for the next couple of months! There's still a lot of work to do on my part too, I've got to set about filling in and submitting forms etc, for various benefits, and if anyone has been on benefits then they'll know, the whole system is complicated... even though they try to tell you that it's not, it is! But the main thing is, I've secured our home for for time being. In a way I guess the Justice card did smile kindly on me today? So I'm going look upon today as a good day because I don't get many of them!

PS.
I've just phoned my daughter, she attends a free after-school club today. I told her the house was safe, "OH YA!, she cried. I'm so happy she was so chuffed :-)