Today...

I can't believe it's been so long since I last blogged. Sometimes writing about the realities of life does not help, or maybe it does, I don't know, but I didn't write anything here. Although I have set up another web-blog, a fun one, and one that has nothing to do with me whatsoever! I think I just needed to feel apart from my real self, and so I guess I was trying to create a different world for myself in order to achieve that feeling.

My other blog has had somewhat more success than this one in terms of response, which in itself was a nice boost. Maybe that's been the problem with finding the energy to blog here... but then again was that not the whole idea of doing this diary, for me to understand how I react, especially when things are not going well... and well, I guess I've done that... I react by complete avoidance!

Some good new happened today, which maybe what triggered me into returning to my blog. I received a letter and have an appointment with a Psychiatrist at the end of April. Well actually no, my appointment is to see his Clinical Medical Officer, but at least I'm seeing someone! That's the good news in my life... the bad news is, my daughter and I are literally broke. We have no funds available at all, and have been living on whatever we can find. This has made us both pretty agitated with each other, understandably. Hopefully, some money will be in my account tomorrow otherwise I don't even want to think about how we're going to live. I don't quite know how it got this bad, it must be me, I must have not been concentrating on the money as I should have been. I've lost a lot of weight, which is actually okay as I'm not hungry anyway, but I have made sure my daughter has been fed... albeit mostly on bread, chocolate spread, and pasta! Not the best diet in the world but at least she's eaten, and she tells me she's fine with it. But like I said if the funds don't appear tomorrow then I shall have to look at her maybe staying with my brother for a few days... so that will cause problems in itself, but at least she'll be fed!

So that's my life today... let's hope tomorrow is better eh :-)